Pro Tip 2: Jade: Be patient

I met my lovely shemale friend Jade this morning at work. I thought to ask her for my series of 'pro tips'. This is what she said:

Be patient

It is one of the things I have been saying myself over and over:
Men are not going to suddenly jump at you. whether you work in a club or stand at a street corner, you have to be patient. You may think that men approach girls all the time and it will be easy to score them, the moment you add money into the equation they get all kinds of funny ideas that affect their willingness and ability to go with you. Some of them may have a kink for sex workers, but you can expect more of them to suddenly get prudish or all 'principal' when their wallets are involved.

Or they may just decide that they like the girl standing next to you better. That's the business. There is plenty competition and you have to be patient.

On the stigmatization of punters

Punters are rough, drunk, violent types. They tend to abuse women more often than other men etc. etc.

This kind of reasoning is often used by lobby groups, often with Christian backgrounds, and politicians to propose legislation and rules that should 'protect' sex workers. The agenda is trying to abolish or at least minimise the sector, since prostitution is of course an indignified act that threatens the holy act of sexual intercourse (sex is not supposed to be a recreational activity, but has to happen within the boundaries of at least some sort of relationship).
These people criminalise and marginalise prostitutes and put them to even more danger by effectively disabling them from actually taking part in the public dialogue. This is done in the most despicable way: emphasising the stigma on sex work that already exists in society.

Anyone who ever took this serious and talked to a prostitute will know: punters are 'just like real men'. Actually, there is no difference. Many of them are in relationships, also these guys, regardless of what you think about 'cheating', tend to be nice. Yes, nice.

Punters are being stigmatized as well. This is done in a very simple way: by using the age-old theme of the man as agressor in a sexual relationship. Women are passive, men are agressive.
This deliberately overlooks the fact that men can be vulnerable as well. There are sexual issues (impotence, erection disorders), there are handicapped or old men. And yes, some men are just shy.

Actually, even in the virtual world of Second Life many clients are just shy. They are careful not to hurt our feelings or just a bit insecure about living out their fantasies.

Even the man who caused me to wear the bruises layers for the roleplay that resulted in the first photo was considerate. He was actually nice and asked about my limits. Then we had fun roleplaying something in a safe environment. Neither of us would have done this in RL.

And yes, also fantasies are being stigmatized. It is weird to dream up something 'wild' or 'perverted'. Thoughts are not free. We have to free them ourselves.

Of course, people who are on the abolitionist side in the debate will try to disable me from taking part in the discussion as well: I am just hiding behind my avatar. Yes, I am, that is because of the stigmatisation of my fantasies... You are doing this. That doesn't mean that I am not a concerned citizen that sees what happens in the world around her.